The Voice Within...trust it

Young boy， don’t cry

I’ll be right here when your world starts to fall

Young boy， it’s all right

Your tears will dry， you’ll soon be free to fly

When you’re safe inside your room you tend to dream

Of a place where nothing’s harder than it seems

No one ever wants or bothers to explain

Of the heartache life can bring and what it means

When there’s no one else

Look inside yourself

Like your oldest friend

Just trust the voice within

Then you’ll find the strength

That will guide your way

If you will learn to begin

To trust the voice within

I wish...

I wish...

I wish I could always be by his side

I wish I could ease him of the sadness

I wish I could change the school's decision

I wish I could tell him something that really comfort him

I wish I could...

I wish I could...

I wish...



He's making me so sad now. He wants to be left alone. My heart aches now. I want to help him, but I have no idea how to. Please, please, ease him of that sorrow. Show him light.

Am I just that fallen angel?

Been having crazy days because of project work. Did the thing I'm always afraid of, to present. The presentation went quite smoothly, except for the Q & A part. The assessors slashed out a tough question at me and I was lost. But who cares, I just wanted to get it over and done with. Anyway I did manage to hold through the part when I was presenting. I thought it was smooth and clear. Ha ha. The important thing was that it's over. I should be going wild and happy, but I didn't.

When everything seems to start becoming beautiful, something has to stop it huh. I'm not only refering to the ending of project work, but also my path with this one person. We were happy. He cheered me up and showed me light when I was feeling depressed then, because of the Bro. thing. He made me realised I'm not the fallen angel. I was really excited and hopeful about things between us as we are both in the same school. I thought I will have lots of chances to see him in school next year, when I go to toh tuck for training. He, doing his usual rugby training, and me, working on my dancing skill. We will wait for each other to finish, and then go to wherever it will be to have dinner or to chill out or something. Seems like this is not going to happen. Stupid school makes stupid decisions. MI decided to retain him with his 2 As.

He's withdrawing...

And I don't understand why people like the SCs can get promoted even with only 1AO or 2AOs. The thought of it makes me mad. Why? Why? He looked sad, it affected me and I wanted to hug him(in public) but I can't. We have been having lots of fun these few days. Eating at PS, chilling at Marina Bay Park in the middle of the night, movie The Exorcism of Emily Rose. He looked so cute when he was made a little uneasy by the disturbing plots of that movie. It was frightening and disgusting, but I didn't expect that a guy looking so big and strong will be affected by that. Ha ha ha! All these times were very enjoyable. I felt accepted, he felt right. Worries seem to be far far away when I was with him. I'm just afraid that he has to go overseas for study. Both of us don't want this to happen. He doesn't want to leave, and I will not allow this. But, it is not under my control. I miss him now that I can't get to see him.

I think I'm gonna fall really deep this time. Hope that he feels the same. I'm certain. He will feel the same. Right? My dearest rugger? Hee...

Emotionless

I am not sure on which day of this period, I started to feel numb over things. The feeling of tiredness and carelessness overwhelm me. I used to have a heart full of emotions and affection-seeking aura. But now, it was stolen away. Till I find my heart again and relocate it, the very bit of left-over soul is insufficient for me to neither feel happy nor sad. I'm tired of experiencing changes of emotion and feelings. I'm afraid of the harsh reality of what humans face. I'm in the process of accepting and learning. I'm too tired to even care about that stolen heart of mine. I will not want to open my heart if I find it back, but it's unlikely so. I'm vunerable and I need my Gaurdian Angel.

Fuck lah! I can't feel anything properly now. Where are my emotions? Fuck! FUCK!!!
Don't bother me...

Important Souls

Pei's birthday is going to be over in a few minutes. She must have been surprise by "The Choronicles Of Waterfall" album. After 4 days of working on our latest production, the grand album finally came out. Wow! 3 discs, around 1.8GB, of a certain better standard than the previous one. I'm proud of it, and I can sense my own satisfaction. Hope Yim and Wendy felt that too. Pei is very honoured and lucky, being able to enjoy the fruit without labour. Happy Birthday Waterfall for the last time this year! We also got her a new friend, ripple, a cute girl monkey. Ernesto and Golly have a new friend now. Yeah! Our relationship has proceeded fast these 2 months, to a even higher level. Have been best friends for many years already, but we have been putting in more efforts these 2 months to further strengthen our relationship. Our weekly outing, photo taking, and video taking/album making. Our activities are getting crazier and more fun. I think these somehow make us closer.

I always have this little wish in me. Since I have my 4 important people, excluding parents, I always wanted them to meet each other. And, I got my wish granted today. Had to pass jx kor econs book today, and so, we all got together at the same MRT station. Yeah again! Have been telling both sides about the other, and now, the three girls can get to see jx kor and jx kor can get to see them. Although they didn't talk, but just hi and bye, I was already glad that this seemingly difficult thing to be granted finally came true. They are all my great great friends. Of course I would want them to at least meet and know each other. Will have more chance next time. Maybe during Chinese New Year or something. Ha ha ha. I feel like hugging the four of them now, like hugging soft toys. How childish I am.

Anyway, my Hall Of Important People still remains the same, with the same people listed. Although things did happen, which upset me, in the end we still have to treasure what we have. Friends like them are hard to find. So, I shouldn't ask for more. You did the right thing. Thank you. See? I respect you so much. Ha ha! Good Luck for your As. Hope that the book can aid you well in preparing for econs papers. Jia You!!!